Trisha Jael | Nineteen | UCI | LA<3
Welcome to my world, my thoughts & everything in between.
I realized what I missed the most…
their families and how well I got along with them, especially their mothers. I really loved how they welcomed me into their homes, their lives, and how they treated me so well. There was not a single instance where I didn’t feel welcomed and personally loved by them. I guess I left that impact, you know. It’s something to feel honored and proud about, being the girl they take home to meet their families. Perhaps the first, but I’d rather be the last. This came into my mind this weekend when one of my guy friend’s wanted me to meet his mom when I was dropping him off. HA. It reminded me of everything. But maybe the most important thing would be for MY FAMILY to really love him.. the same way that they love my future brother-in-law. That’s my goal, I’ve already decided. A few have come close, but not close enough. Maybe the next one will(:
You won’t even believe what I just did.. Spending the past how many minutes now just looking back on things and laughing at how silly and naive I was. Hahah good times, good times.
I was looking through old things on my new laptop, just because I was feeling nostalgic and wanted to reminisce on things. And I literally laughed out loud over a conversation I had with one of my best friends and a revelation that I had (I don’t even know why I kept this convo, lol). And it was officially established sometime in 2009 that I would no longer date Filipino boys. Hahaha. I apparently claimed that from then on, I would only date or be interested in “Halfies”, white boys, or certain Asians. And approximately 3 years later, I have stayed true to this. LOLOL, I can’t even get over this(: Asleglfdghfdjghdflk. I find this quite entertaining. Just because two boys during that time who so happened to be Filipino, broke my heart and played mind games.. I decided to change my interest in guys. And years later, I finally remembered why. But yet, I’ve stayed true to my word and kept a distance for specific reasons that only a few other girls would probably understand why.
I’m stubborn as hell. I never like being told what to do, unless I agree with someone. Mind you, I don’t think that I’m always right because I know I’m not. I’m human too and I obviously make mistakes. But I swear to you, sometimes I just have to do what I think is best for me even if I know you have my best interests at heart. It’s complicated. Heck, I’m freaking complicated. It’s like I’ll listen and say that I won’t do something that’s not good for me, but then I end up doing it anyway. Story of my life. But I do believe that experience is the best teacher. Lessons are always learned from my mistakes and my actions. In fact, everything I say or do usually has some meaning behind it. And yes, I do think before I do things. So please please, don’t ever tell me that I’m doing something stupid like not thinking about my actions or being careful with what I say. Because, I really am. Whether you’d like to believe it or not. That’s just how it is.
I want to take a journey inside your mind. To figure out all of your thoughts. You know, the ones you seem to be holding back. I want to know your fears, your dreams, your goals in life. I want to know what pisses you off, just to know what to avoid not to press your buttons. I want to know what you’re thinking when you look at me with those eyes. I want to know things about you that no one else seems to know. Your hidden secrets, the things you like to avoid talking about, the things you wouldn’t dare tell anyone else. But you, telling me these things would prove to me that you trust me with a side of yourself that no one even knows about. I want to know about the things you love, admire, and the things that inspire you the most. Encapsulate me with your thoughts. Drown me in your desires. Intrigue me with your intelligence. Because I’m ready, ready to know everything about you. I’m curious. I love just talking to you about anything and everything. I like listening. I like knowing more about you. If you let me in, I promise you that I won’t let you down. I’ll find ways to make you smile, because I like seeing you happy. I’m attracted to your mind, to your thoughts. & maybe one day, I’ll find my own place into yours through mine.
