Trisha | Twenty-one | UCI | LA<3
I needed a break. I needed to get away from it all. I needed time for myself and time to breathe, to soak it all in and not think so much. My therapeutic drives home are things that I enjoy the most. But this time, I couldn’t stop the tears from falling. I tried to pull myself together and just focus on nothing but the road that lay ahead, but it was so hard. And these nightmares that I’ve been having lately aren’t helping either. Here I am, trying to pull myself together but I just feel like it’s all slowly falling apart. But luckily, I have tried to eliminate the negative thoughts, the emotions that I’ve been trying to hide, and actually tried to just breathe and let it all go. Home is definitely where my heart is. I find myself more home sick than ever before lately and I didn’t realize it till now. With the chaos and madness that I endure while away from home, I forget how simple and relaxing it is to be home and to feel the love from my family and friends. I’ve missed it too much. Lately, all I’ve wanted was to finally have a chance to go home and not have to worry so much or think about all of the things I need to do or haven’t done. Now I never want to take it for granted. I definitely appreciate it so much more now. I needed this, more than you know.
I was talking to my best friend and he said this, it definitely caught me off guard because I did not expect such a response from him especially at that exact moment. But it definitely opened up my eyes and made me see things from a different light. I’ve been struggling a lot lately but I never want to admit it. There are so many different things that I need to keep track of and sometimes I fail to do so, just because it’s been tough and I always feel like my head has been too cluttered with thoughts, some so unnecessary and irrelevant that the important things sometimes go unnoticed. Emotionally, I feel slightly unstable and vulnerable. Physically, I’m beyond exhausted. Mentally, it’s been cluttered and so messy. And in the midst of it all, I have forgotten what it felt like to simply enjoy the moment because I have thought so pessimistically and constantly blamed myself for things, even the things that I simply cannot control. Lately, I’ve had to be reminded that I’m doing just fine and to remember my worth. I used all of this as a way to ignore the good that has been present in my life and focused on all of the things I don’t have, the things I didn’t do, and the things that I can’t control. But after hearing him say this to me and saw how he looked at life, I was reminded that it’s another obstacle but with faith and guidance, I should never doubt in Him because he WILL lead me down the right path. It’s just another challenge, another hurdle in life that I have yet to overcome. I shouldn’t dwell on my sadness and stress out too much. Instead, I should be finding solutions to my problems and avoid placing myself in horrible situations that I CAN control. It is something that I will overcome. I just have to believe in it, I have to learn to believe in myself, and to never doubt that God will be right by side to guide me. There is nothing that He won’t put me through, that he knows that I cannot overcome. I will succeed. I will get through all of this. This too, shall pass. And I shouldn’t be foolish enough to ever doubt that. Lessons will be learned, experiences will remain, and good will come from it. I may not see it now, but I know that I will one day soon enough.
Nothing comes close to you. It’s been proven, once again.
I know you tell me not to wait for you, but something always reminds me to do otherwise. The best things take time and distance shouldn’t matter. You still make me the happiest and the only one I’m really willing to wait for. The only one who doesn’t play stupid mind games and has been real with me since the very beginning. Nothing else matters. At the end of the day, you’re still the one who’s always on my mind. It’s going to happen someday, I already know it. I can’t explain how I know but I just do. My gut feeling has been telling me lately that I should just let fate run it’s course. It’s just crazy to me how you’ve been right in front of me all along. It’s something special and it’s been proven countless times that no one else can compare.. What more could I possibly want? Honestly, nothing. It’s always been you. And right now, no one else can tell me otherwise. I know what I feel is real and the same goes for you. So thank you, for making me believe again. Whenever I think about these things, you always come to mind and I honestly cannot help but smile just knowing that it’s you.
I stumbled upon this today, hahah. Kaba’s Semi-formal two years ago with my awesome Cosis @africaland 👭💞🐘😂🙊 PS, it’s almost that time of year again.. So everyone go buy your tickets! 😉👫 😊👑
I usually don’t like letting other people in. On the rare occasions that I do, it’s because I see something different about the person.. I don’t know how to explain it but it’s true. So I’m sitting here wondering what it is about some people that have me willing to give in so easily because it’s so not like me. I even have trouble believing some of the things that people say to me, always trying to call them out on their lies. But it’s just different now.. It’s like I’m letting you in so easily and believing every word that you say. And I catch myself, seriously wondering why all of a sudden I’m acting like this. So uninhibited and so willing to finally let someone else in. Mind you, it’s not because romantic feelings are involved either. But it’s just a unique feeling. I don’t even have to try to explain myself to you because somehow you always understand. I honestly don’t know how but you do. It’s this weird effect that you have on me and my mind is just willing to reveal all of my thoughts… that no one else knows. Uncovering secrets and emotions that I always try to hide. You just changed it all in so little time. And now I’m just left in awe. I don’t know how or why, but you just do. But I thank you, for reminding me to try to let someone else in and for just always being there for me when I need it the most. You’re just something else.
Just because I think the weekend went by so quickly 😭 But Santa Barbara, you were so good to us! Haha Adventures, so much food, & good company ☺😘 I need more of these road trips. & I love these girls @kryssimay @rachelcansea #giselleguro #mikasmith
I’m so jealous that UCSB kids are super close to the beach like this! But it’s beautiful.. I guess 😂😊
Lately, I’ve been inspired to do things I’ve always wanted to do but never thought I could do. I don’t know what ignited the spark, but something did and it has definitely changed me. I’m just so thankful and so happy at this point in my life right now. There’s honestly nothing more that I could possibly ask for. I feel like a different person because of it, I feel like an even better person than I was before.
I guess I’ve just been feeding off of all of the love and support that the people in my life have been giving me. The past few weeks so far have just left me speechless, I didn’t realize how much of an impact some people had on me till now. And now I’m even more thankful than ever before to have such amazing people in my life who seriously motivate and inspire me every single day. Words can’t even describe it. I’m more than happy, more than blessed. I really do believe that some people are in your life for a reason and they stay because they want to. And once you have this, you just never want to let them go. I’m at a great point in my life right now and I’m genuinely proud of myself. It’s still the beginning… And I can only imagine what else life has in store for me. But I can feel that it’s going to be something amazing(: I just know it.
I could honestly say that I’m truly blessed to have the opportunity to work with such amazing people who inspire me everyday❤ I’m one lucky girl. & I still can’t get enough of ‘em 😂Def started the year off right. #17strong #pacn34board I love y’all 😘
I didn’t believe that certain things like this existed and I thought I lost all hope. But you came around and changed everything. It didn’t make any sense till now but I can proudly say that I see the beauty of it all. You’re worth the wait. You’re worth it all. You make me believe in things that I thought were so silly and foolish before. You bring out the best in me and everything suddenly has so much more meaning to it. They say that the waiting is the hardest part and I won’t deny that because it really is. But now I know that the best things in life are the things we have to work for and patience is key. Despite everything, I still feel like the luckiest girl in the world right now. Just knowing that I have something as sweet, as amazing as this. And it’s all thanks to you. You have definitely taught me a lot about myself, about life, and the real meaning behind love. But I’m just hoping things can only get better from here. Even if I have to wait a little longer. I’m in no rush whatsoever. It’s already perfectly fine the way it is. I couldn’t ask for anything more. I was truly blessed this Christmas. I’m so thankful to have you in my life, you just make everything ten times better than it already is. I didn’t even think that was possible till now(:
Merry Christmas from me & my little Snow Bear 🐻😊🎄 Felt so good to be back, I missed it too much. I love the snow 🗻 (at Big Bear Lake)
I am the happiest girl right now! 😂 My family is the best: The Michael Kors watch I wanted, a Lorac Pro make-up palette, a Kindle Fire HD, & my new iPhone 5 😘😍😂🙌 #imspoiled #blessed #idontneedaman Hahaha 👊❤
I feel like I’m 14 all over again, squealing and dancing around my room right now. All because of you.
You never fail to surprise me. And you’re seriously the only one who makes me feel this way(: Ahhh. I. Can’t. Even. Compose. Myself. Right. Now.
I always wanted someone who would make me feel this way. Definitely worth the wait. I’m seriously the happiest girl right now. Life’s been pretty darn amazing to me lately!